Pizza is now also a fruit

Don't you all hate it when your parents constantly remind you to eat your fruits and vegetables? Well, thanks to congress, pizza is now deemed a vegetable, but for those of us who are lazy like me, we are probably still behind on our daily fruit intake. But, thanks to my ingenious self, we can now deem pizza not only a vegetable but also a fruit!! If congress can call pizza a vegetable for having veggie toppings why can't we call it a fruit if we top it with Skittles? Using a conditional "if...then" statement that I learned in Logic 101,  I can prove my statement - If congress declare that veggies on pizza= pizza is a veggie, then Skittles (fruit candy) on pizza = pizza is a fruit.

Here is how you can turn your pizza into fruit-

Step 1- buy a slice of pizza (whole pie will work as well)
Step 2- buy a bag of Skittles or equivalent fruit candy such as Starburst
Step 3- methodically placer Skittle on pizza
Step 4- You now have a fruit! Enjoy!